Matchweek 11

Hello and welcome back to FootyReMarcs where, like America, we cant be taken seriously.

The big news is that Donald Trump has been re-elected as president of the United States of America. I don't even need to write a joke about that, it's fine as it is. In literal bigger news everyone is losing their minds over how tall Gary Barlow's son is. Jacamo are rumoured to be interested in making young Barlow the face of their brand, leaving Jermaine Jenas and his dog very disappointed.

Instagram, WhatsApp and Facebook all went down for around thirty minutes on Saturday causing families to fracture and marriages to fail. Apparently my wife and I had a baby in July. Wild.

Ruben Amorim signed off as Sporting Lisbon manager by thrashing Manchester City 4-1 in the Champions League causing many to claim that "the new Alex Ferguson has arrived" at Manchester United. Wait...what...what's that...is...is that..it is! It is the sound of David Moyes and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer laughing their heads off.

Can someone at the BBC tell Troy Deeney to blow his nose please. Thanks.

So Liverpool extend their lead at the top of the table while Man City suffered their fourth loss on the bounce. Speaking of fourth Arsenal are back there (lol) and minnows Manchester United climb to 13th! Ipswich's first win of the season takes them out of the relegation zone while Southampton still sit at the bottom.

Weekend's results below!

Saturday 9th November 

Brentford 3 - 2 Bournemouth - Evan, Neil's son.

Crystal Palace 0 - 2 Fulham - Anthonee, Robin's son.

West Ham 0 - 0 Everton - Jack, Harry's son

Wolves 2 - 0 Southampton - Craig, Daw's son.

Brighton 2 - 1 Man City - Pervis, a stupid nan.

Liverpool 2 - 0 Aston Villa - Andy, Robert's son

Sunday 10th November 

Man United 3 - 0 Leicester - Christian, Erik's son.

Nottingham Forest 1 - 3 Newcastle - Callum, Will's son.

Tottenham 1 - 2 Ipswich - Hueng, Min's son.

Chelsea 1 - 1 Arsenal - Nicolas, Jack's son.

That's it for this week and next as we head into another international break. Don't forget to tell your jail keeper, junior doctor and jeweller about the blog, follow us on Threads, subscribe on the homepage so I can stop WhatsApping you and see you in a few weeks!