Matchweek 23

Welcome back to FootyReMarcs where we take football as seriously as Michael Oliver takes a cynical foul.

It is 09:23 and Ange Postecoglou still has a job.

It is 09:46 and Miles Lewis-Skelly's red card has not been rescinded.

It is 09:59 and Marcus Rashford is still at Manchester United.

It is 10:33 and Arsenal have not bought an attacker.

It is 10:48 and Ange Postecoglou still has a job.

It is 11:03 and Miles Lewis-Skelly's red card has not been rescinded.

It is 11:24 and Marcus Rashford is still at Manchester United.

It is 11:55 and Arsenal have not bought an attacker.

It is 12:35 and Ange Postecoglou still has a job.

It is 13:46 and Miles Lewis-Skelly's red card has not been rescinded.

It is 14:59 and Marcus Rashford is still at Manchester United.

It is 15:23 and Arsenal have not bought an attacker.

It is 16:02 and Ange Postecoglou still has a job.

It is 16:47 and Miles Lewis-Skelly's red card has not been rescinded.

It is 17:07 and Marcus Rashford is still at Manchester United.

It is 17:58 and Arsenal have not bought an attacker.

Saturday 25th January

Bournemouth 5 - 0 Nottingham Forest - Nothingham Forest.

Brighton 0 - 1 Everton - Ndiye another day.

Liverpool 4 - 1 Ipswich - Wataru Ended.

Southampton 1 - 3 Newcastle - Get Bednawrecked.

Wolves 0 - 1 Arsenal - Michael Oliverpool.

Man City 3 - 1 Chelsea - Abdukodir Khusa-not how you want to start your debut.

Sunday 26th January

Crystal Palace 1 - 2 Brentford - Órale Esse.

Tottenham 1 - 2 Leicester - What the Helll Kannouss!

Aston Villa 1 - 1 West Ham - Claret and drew.

Fulham 0 - 1 Manchester United - Craven Cottage Pie.

Thanks for reading, join us next week to find out if Ange still has a job, Lewis-Skelly's red card gets rescinded, Rashford still plays for Man United and and Arsenal finally sign an attacker. Don't forget to tell your Quality Assurance Analyst, and Queen and Quartermaster about the blog, follow us on Threads & BlueSky, subscribe on the homepage and PEACE!