Matchweek 29

Welcomeback to FootyReMarcs where we take football as seriously as Michael Oliver takes kicking goalkeepers in the face.

Gonna keep this snappy.

Congratulations to Newcastle United who beat Liverpool in the League Cup Final to win their first major trophy in 56 years. Spurs are said to be determined to beat this record.

Manchester United unveiled plans for a new 100,000 seater stadium. Much has been said on the circus like appearence of the new stadium, with Zippo of Zippos Circus now bookies favourite to replace Amorim whe he is eventually sacked.

Olivia Rodrigo and The 1975 are confirmed to headline Glastonbury this year, and even worse line up than Southampton's against Wolves.

A private spacecraft the Blue Ghost sucessfully landed on the moon in a section known as The Sea of Crisis. Experts are baffled as to how White Hart Lane got to the moon, or how a spacecraft could land in it.

The fossil of a pony-sized dinosaur has been revealed for the first time on a sea cliff. Archaeologists belive Casemiro was on a morning walk when he slipped and got stuck.

Popstar Katy Perry will blast off into space as part of an upcoming all-women flight on Blue Origin's New Shepard rocket. She will be looking our for large landmarks like The Great Wall of China, The Great Barrier Reef and The Great Midfield Gap of Manchester United.

Manchester United catching shots this week, would be good if Onana would too.

I'm just gonna reuse my Oscar themed teams from last week as I didn't push that blog. Premier League results below.

Saturday 15th March

Never say nEver-ton Again 1 - 1 North by North West Ham

Ip Man-swich 2 - 4 Nottingham Forest Gump

Man City of God 2 - 2 BrightBurn-on

Southampton The Boondock Saints 1 - 2 Dances With Wolves

The Bournemouth Supremacy 1 - 2 BrentFord vs Ferrari

Sunday 16th March

ArsenAll Quiet on the Western Front 1 - 0 ChelSee No Evil, Hear No Evil

Full-Metal Jacket-ham 2 - 0 Tottenham Some Like It Hostpur

Leicester City of Men 0 - Manchester United By The Sea

That's it for a few weeks due to the international break. Tell yourUndertaker, Urban Planner and UAV Operator about the blog, follow us on Threads and BlueSky and see you soon.