Matchweek 32

Welcome back to FootyReMarcs where we take football as seriously as a Real Madrid comeback.

Been on a little holiday so going to keep this one short and quick like Di Natale.

The first Universal theme park in Europe will be built in the UK. The attraction would be constructed near Bedford and would create an estimated 28,000 jobs before opening in 2031. Hopefully there will be some jobs left for Ange Postecoglu and Ruben Amorim.

An ancient oak felled in a north London park by Toby Carvery's owners was healthy and could have lived "for another few hundred years", the leader of the local council has said. James Milner fondly recalled how he used to play around the tree when it was just a sapling. "We used it as one goalpost and a Peascod doublet as the other."

Experts claim that humans will soon understand dolphins, giving hope to the Arsenal back line who hope the research will help them understand Gabriel Magalhães' high pitched incomprehensible screams.

A new immersive Tutankhamun exhibition is open in London which will transport you to the time of the Pharaohs via virtual and augmented reality. James Milner fondly recalled how he used to play headers and volleys with a young Tutankhamun on the sands of ancient Egypt. "He was loud on the pitch organising everyone, I always knew he would make a good leader one day"

Premier League Easter themed results below:

Saturday 10th April

Man City 5 - 2 Crystal Palace - Ezeaster Ezeggs.

Brighton 2 - 2 Leicester - Baleba it or not, Jesus died and was resurrected. A young James Milner fondly recalled....

Nottingham Forest 0 - 1 Everton - Chocolate Sels are through the roof!

Southampton 0 - 3 Aston Villa - Bednaregg.

Arsenal 1 - 1 Brentford - Gabriel Jesus has risen! Actually he's still injured.

Sunday 13th April

Chelsea 2 - 2 Ipswich - Cole Palm-er Sunday.

Liverpool 2 - 1 West Ham - Lucas Paqueta mini eggs will sort me out.

Wolves 4 - 2 Tottenham - I'm pretty sure God will be Maddison was killed.

Newcastle 4 - 1 Manchester United - Nick Pope Francis.

Monday 14th April

Bournemouth 1 - 0 Fulham - Ryan SessEggnon.

Wednesday 16th April

Newcastle 5 - 0 Crystal Palace - Nick Pope Benedict...clutching I know!

That's it for this week! Remember to tell your Watchmaker, Waiter/tress and Window cleaner about the blog, follow us on Threads & BlueSky and see you next week!