Matchweek 8

Welcome back to FootyReMarcs where we try our best not to take football too seriously but, much like P Diddy at an all white party, it's getting hard.

Thomas Tuchel was named the permanent manager of the England national team angering a section of England fans and media who are upset that the England manager is not an English man. This of course is petty nonsense, like people who get annoyed at putting the milk in first when making a cuppa. These are the same fans and media outlets who were pining for Pep Guardiola to get the job merely days before. Tuchel has won league titles in France and Germany, and has won the Champions League with Chelsea. Last time I checked (two seconds ago) there are no living English European Cup/Champions League winning managers, and the last English manager to win an English top flight league title was Howard Wilkinson with Leeds in 1992. Do you know how long ago that was? Exactly one year after Spurs last won the FA Cup, so aaaages. I for one am happy with Tuchel's appointment and hope he can beat the midfield out of Harry Kane.

It was an eventful week in the Premier League with five red cards shown on Saturday and refereeing displays as inconsistent as a Donald Trump speech. One of those red cards was shown to William Saliba as Arsenal suffered their first loss of the season against AFC Bournemouth with the head of the PGMOL Howard Webb in attendance. According to reputable and respected journalist Alan Shearer on MOTD, Webb was "simply listening to the comms of the match officials" whilst typing something on his phone. Webb must be very busy on Saturday's at 3pm listening to multiple match official comms at one time, because it's ludicrous he would just do it for one game, isn't it? Maybe he was on his phone adding Alpecin caffeine shampoo to his Morrisons shop? Maybe he was on Amazon pre-ordering the next Erik ten Hag novel. Maybe he was sharing a lost cat post on Facebook hun xxx, or even reading FootyReMarcs. We'll never know, and it ultimately doesn't matter now. Saliba deserved a red card and Arsenal probably deserved to lose. What is most frustrating is the inconsistency of refereeing decisions across games. But lets give the referees credit where it is due, one thing they do consistently well and to a T is send Arsenal players off.

Anyway, Manchester United got things back on track with a win against Brentford, Man City scored late to beat Wolves and keep the pressure on Liverpool who themselves beat Chelsea to stay top of the table.

The weekend's results below!

Saturday 19th October 

Tottenham 4 - 1 West Ham - Son-sational!

Fulham 1 - 3 Aston Villa - Cash and grab.

Ipswich 0 - 2 Everton - Ip-switched off at the back.

Man Utd 2 - 1 Brentford - DID YA PUT YA NAME IN THE REFEREES NOTEBOOK ERIK?!

Newcastle 0 - 1 Brighton - Get Well-beck soon.

Southampton 2 - 3 Leicester - AYEW NOT ENTERTAINED?!

AFC Bournemouth 2 - 0 Arsenal - The 'AFC' in 'AFC Bournemouth' actually stands for 'Arsenal Football Club' so three points to the Gunners yay.

Sunday 20th October

Wolves 1 - 2 Man City - Strand Larceny.

Liverpool 2 - 1 Chelsea - Reds remain in top Slot!

Monday 21st October 

Nottingham Forrest 1 - 0 Crystal Palace - From Crystal Palace to Glass-ner House.

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HOWARD WEBB PUTS MILK IN FIRST WHEN MAKING A CUPPA!

Bye!