Matchweeks 14 & 15

Welcome back to a FootyReMarcs double game week SUPER SPECIAL SPECTACULAR!! It is officially the Christmas season!! I'm just annoyed that the mince pies I bought back in September when they were first displayed in the shops are now out of date.

I'm a Celebrity: Get Me Out Of Here! ended with Danny Jones being crowned the king of the jungle, and Coleen Rooney coming in second place. Meanwhile in Plymouth scores of grannies were seen being ushered out of a house by someone reportedly to look exactly like Wayne Rooney. Danny Jones is one of the members of British band McFly who's last UK Number 1 was in 2007, just a year before Spurs last trophy win.

Pep Guardiola was quoted this week saying "Maybe I’m quite similar to José... But José won three, I won six Premier League titles". To which José Mourinho responded “Pep Guardiola said something to me yesterday… He won six trophies and I won three, but I won fairly and cleanly. I don’t want to win by dealing with 150 lawsuits”. Yeah, everything fair and clean about a Russian oligarch buying and funnelling funds into a club that had won f-all before 2003, José.

The FA Cup third round draw took place with the pick of the fixtures being Arsenal vs Manchester United, Arsenal having won the competition a record 14 times and Manchester United just behind with 13. It is a competition Mikel Arteta won in the season he became Arsenal manager, and Ruben Amorim will be hoping to do the same at Manchester United. It will be tough having collapsed like the French government to Arsenal and Nottingham Forest.

The FIFA Club World Cup draw took place...

This competition feels like a waste of time like playing Wordle without being able to see your streak. SCREW YOU NEW YORK TIMES, I WILL NEVER SUBSCRIBE!!!

There are a lot of fixtures to get through, results below!

Tuesday 3rd December

Ipswich 0 - 1 Crystal Palace - Mate-Ta for the goal lads.

Leicester 3 - 1 West Ham - "Onk taa eenk taa Fabianski". (If you got that, comment below & give yourself 250 points)

Wednesday 4th December

Everton 4 - 0 Wolves - D-awful-son.

Man City 3 - 0 Nottingham Forest - KeWin De Bruyne.

Newcastle 3 - 3 Liverpool - Schar Magpies Schar.

Southampton 1 - 5 Chelsea - Cole Palmer's sweaty, knees weak Badiasheli. There's vomit on his sweater already, Madueke.

Arsenal 2 - 0 Manchester United - Big Willy scores with his Arse-enal.

Aston Villa 3 - 1 Brentford - Morgan RogScores.

Thursday 5th December

Fulham 3 - 1 Brighton - BrightOff.

Bournemouth 1 - 0 Tottenham - Ange Losthisjobsoon.

Saturday 7th December

Everton P - P Liverpool - PostMaloned.

Aston Villa 1 - 0 Southampton - Emery step you taaaaaake.

Brentford 4 - 2 Newcastle - Coll-in the goals.

Crystal palace 2 - 2 Man City - RicarDo you really want to huuurt me?

Manchester United 2 - 3 Nottingham Forest - Amor-is it really-him?

Sunday 8th December

Arsenal of West London 1 - 1 Arsenal of North London - Set Piece FC

Ipswich 1 - 2 Bournemouth - Quatt-a-rra Comeback!

Leicester 2 - 2 Brighton - De Cordova-Reid 'em n weep.

Tottenham 3 - 4 Chelsea - Silly Whites.

Monday 9th December

West Ham 2 - 1 Wolves - Get Well Soon Antonio.

That's it for the double game week super special spectacular. I hope you enjoyed, please share with you lawyer, lifeguard and landscaper. Don't forget to follow on Threads, subscribe on the homepage and see you next week!