Matchweeks 17 & 18

Hello and welcome back to FootyRemarcs where we take football as seriously as Evri delivering Christmas gifts. If there are any spelling or grammatical mistakes in this edition please forgive me as I've been drinking for four days straight.

I hope you all had a great Christmas and got lots of things that will be regifted in a years time. I love my Lynx Africa top!

Marcus Rashford confirmed he's ready for new challenge, making himself as redundant at Manchester United as Amazon asking me to review a product which I bought as a gift and is wrapped up under the Christmas tree.

I bet New Years Eve at Mudryk or Cootes' place is gonna be liiiiiive!

The European Super League reared its ugly head again like James Corden in a Gavin & Stacey Christmas special. Vini Jr was named FIFA best men's player of the year confirming he was on Infantino's nice list. I tuned into the King's speech on Christmas day but switched off when Thierry Henry did not show up.

We have had festive fixtures galore to feast on so fix yourself a fun frappacino and get your fill on these fantastic footy results.

Saturday 21st December

Aston Villa 2 - 1 Manchester City - Matty JustSomeCash in a card please.

Brentford 0 - 2 Nottingham Forest - Morgan Gibbs-Whiiiiiiite Christmaaas.

Ipswich 0 - 4 Newcastle - Jacob Myrrh-phy.

West Ham 1 - 1 Brighton - Bethlehem, a city where all the inns are Full-krug

Crystal Palace 1 - 5 Arsenal - Gabriel Jesus is born.

Sunday 22nd December

Everton 0 - 0 Chelsea - Noni MaduAway In A Manger.

Fulham 0 - 0 Southampton - Joshu-A King was born today.

Leicester 0 - 3 Wolves - Virgin Soumare.

Man United 0 - 3 Bournemouth - An-Mistle-tony.

Tottenham 3 - 6 Liverpool - Ange PostecogScrooge.

Thursday 26th December

Man City 1 - 1 Everton - Seamus Coal-man.

Bournemouth 0 - 0 Crystal Palace - Golden Sarr on top of the Christmas tree.

Chelsea 1 - 2 Fulham - Joa Felix Navidad.

Newcastle 3 - 0 Aston Villa - Deck the Lewis Hall.

Nottingham Forest 1 -0 Tottenham - The Hueng-Min Son of God.

Southampton 0 - 1 West Ham - Taylor Harwood-Jingle-Bellis.

Wolves 2 - 0 Manchester United - Oh Ugarte me a present, thank you!

Liverpool 3 - 1 Leicester - Alexis Kevin Mac Allister.

Friday 27th December

Brighton 0 - 0 Brentford - Thomas Frankincense.

Arsenal 1 - 0 Ipswich - Santa's Saka.

That's it for this week, who knows when we'll be back as we're in that black hole in the time-space continuum that is the period between Christmas and New Years. Don't forget to tell your nail technician, neighbour and nurse about the blog, follow us on Threads, subscribe on the homepage and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!